Reply1

When we experience pain and trauma, our first reaction is hurt and fear, perhaps even shame and sadness, all combined.  But we then develop a protection around that pain, which is usually anger.   We feel more comfortable showing anger, and this becomes our defense.  Self - defense anger is what your are experiencing.  Pushing people away to keep yourself from feeling the pain again.  But the pain does not go away, which is why your are crying out for help now. 

The answer is: 'the only way out is through'   This means that you must find a trusted person, counsellor or therapist to relive the pain with again, but this time with therapeutic support.  It will be painful, but this pain will start to subside once you have relived it and had it witnessed by a non-shaming, caring person.  When we avoid pain it becomes more powerful and shows itself as anger.  But by reliving the pain in a healing way, you will go through it and survive.  You will feel release and healing.  You will not be a victim of your suffering any longer.   

Be mindful that you are displaying passive-aggressive anger by pushing people away, and once again, 'the only way out is through'.  I wish you the best as you take the brave step of experiencing the pain again, this time in a healing environment, to be relieved once and for all.

Linda Bolland
Director, Beating Anger Guildford,  UK
British Association of Anger Management 

Reply2

You could make a list of everything that happens each day, where someone did something trustworthy.  Someone said they would meet you for lunch and they showed up.  Someone said they would do something and they did it.  You said something to a friend and they were supportive.  Someone called you and trusted you with information. etc. 

God, Allah, (Universal Consciousness if you are not religious) , is trustworthy.  The sun came up in the morning.  Evening came and everyone was well. The flowers are blooming in the garden.  The tree is bearing fruit.  The world, the Universe, is in good hands. List these things we take for granted as well.  The Universe is in the hands of  God/Allah, (Universal Consciousness if you are not religious).  He knows what is best.  He will not fail you.  Love will triumph.

Do this daily and it will help you focus more on what you can trust, although you cannot trust everybody it will be helpful to focus on what you can trust.

I would also highly recommend doing Thought Field Therapy around the trauma of your friends betraying  you.  You may have to get past the trauma for the above method to work for you.  Find a practitioner of Thought Field Therapy and do the above exercise daily.

I hope this helps.

Suzanne M Connolly, LCSW, LMFT
Sedona, AZ, U.S.

Reply 3

hi there, For me this is such a clear situation where this person needs to do some breathing. To first of all access and heal the trauma and to open themselves to their own confidence and  strength. Transformational Breathing allows one to go to the energetic core of the trauma and change it at that level. It will be fast and effective.  If they do three session it will be well on it's way to be healed.   

Dr. Judith Kravitz
Founder of the Transformational Breathing
Leading world expert in breathwork
Renowned Healer/Author

Reply4

Trust issues start with the self.  What happened to you has damaged your belief in your own judgement as well as your faith in the “friends”.  You had people in your life you regarded as friends and trustworthy and yet this happened. 

Sometimes we give away our personal power by overly investing in and being more concerned with the opinions of others.  Do some anger releasing and really allow yourself to feel the hurt and anger and then release it from your body because it is very damaging.

Forgive yourself and then work on forgiving those individuals that you feel have hurt you.    Once all the judgements and hurt and all the other “stuff” has gone you will be able to relax and be more open and loving and will attract friends who are the same, but remember not to hand over your personal power or put another way - maintain your personal boundaries. 
Without knowing you or what happened it is hard to suggest anything else but I suspect there may be other areas that need some attention and release.
 

Gillian Bowles
http://www.aplacefortheheart.co.uk